It is May, which means that state standardized testing is in the rearview mirror, and I am feeling inspired to attempt to harness the energy sparked in my students by the emergence of the sun combined with the approach of summer break. This time of year can be incredibly challenging, and you may encounter teachers this month who look slightly… unhinged. We are tired, but we also have the wild eyes of survivors, and our stories have an extra dash of the surreal.
The following is a text conversation with my brother, regarding the Mini Crossword from the NYTimes:
Tim: You beat me [on today’s puzzle] but was relieved mini took you that long, too.
Me: It was hard, and like a moron I confidently put down “MATZO” for my Passover hero 😂
Tim: OMG
Me: I should probably share that with all my Jewish friends so that they can laugh at me.
Reader, I believe I felt “Seder” was implied. Also, it was 6am. Unforgivable, regardless. This is an excellent demonstration of the level of distraction for me right now.
The next interaction took place between 3 school employees in the school office this morning:
Me (late 40s): Here are glue sticks that were donated by the wonderful Lisa Bolton!
Woman A (late 40s): Oh, is she married to David Bolton?
Me: Yes! Do you know them?
Woman A: *Looks confused*
Woman B (early 40s): She means MICHAEL Bolton.
All of us: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! *hysterical laughter*
Most of the year, elementary teachers try very hard not to use sarcasm with our students, because developmentally they are not ready to understand it. In May, sometimes we fail:
Setting: the hallway, just before lunch
Ms. Swanson, my 4th grade teammate: Be in line order, so that we can walk down and wash our hands for lunch.
Student 1, irritated: Isn’t it CRAZY that Mrs. Loeffler’s class ALWAYS beats us to the lunchroom?
Ms. Swanson, probably also irritated: Isn’t it CRAZY that you are still talking, even after I’ve reminded you of hallway expectations?
Student 2, clueless: Isn’t it CRAZY that we’re saying “CRAZY” so many times?
To be fair, they still beat the 3rd class to the lunchroom!
Text conversation with my bestie-and-also-technology-and-library-teacher:
Bestie: The first graders found Moby Dick. And you’d think they found the funniest book. The boys started chanting “dick, dick, dick! Mr. Box look it’s a dick!” Me, internally dead, was like “Hmm, first graders, Moby Dick is the name of the book. And then the girls were like, “Mr. Box what does dick mean?” I was like, when it’s used in a title it’s okay but we aren’t going to go around shouting the word “dick.” One first grader goes, “It means wiener LOL” and then their teacher walked in and I said, “Good luck, sis.”
Me: It is short for Richard, hello!
Bestie: I also said that
Bestie: But there was no saving it
One guest teacher told her misbehaving class that she was going to have to start writing down names for their teacher, and a student clapped back with, “Snitches get stitches!”
A student asked to have a break with one of the adults in the building, and was told that the adult was busy with other students and therefore unavailable. The student asked to go to the bathroom, but instead barged into the aforementioned adult’s office in a perfect j’accuse! manner, accusing her of being a liar because there were not kids in her office right at that moment.
School staff received the semi-annual email asking us to remind students NOT to bring food into the bathrooms, as cereal and juice containers have been found in urinals, and a banana and a plum were found in a toilet.
Pandemonium aside, there are truly joyful moments happening here.
I was tired of the books I usually used for Book Clubs (I had been relying on titles of which we had 4-5 copies each here at school — a beggars can’t be choosers situation) so about a month ago I started planning. I grouped my students (by reading proficiency but also by personality) and researched some newer books that I thought they might love. Thank goodness for We Need Diverse Books! I found 4 completely different books and set up a GoFundMe — not only did my wonderful friends and family come through in less than 24 hours, but they donated enough that I also added a few more books to my classroom library. My 4th graders are learning about Book Joy and I could not be happier.
One of the groups actually inspired the structure of this post! For my most advanced readers, I found a middle-grade anthology of short stories called The Hero Next Door. I called the group up to my desk today to check in with their progress. I mentioned that they probably hadn’t read a book of short stories before, stories that didn’t connect to each other but were in one book. They agreed that they hadn’t, but they all said that they love it! They think the format is very cool, and would like to read more. I admitted that I had only started liking essays and short stories recently, but I haven’t seen very many written for kids their age.
Speaking of books, the Scholastic Book Fair is at our school this week. As she has in the past couple of years, our Full Service Community School coordinator secured grant funding to provide every student in the school a $10 gift certificate for books. Not only that, but the spring fair is Buy One, Get One Free. Children are marching through the halls with their arms piled high with books, and the looks on their faces make the May mayhem worth it.
For a moment, anyway.
Thanks for reading.
Love, Susie
Kudos to all teachers in the merry, merry month of May! Well, actually, all year long! Hang in there, Susie!