My 4th graders are a chatty group this year, and partway through third quarter, I needed to put my foot down. Putting my foot down meant that I put blank lines on the board (much as you would for Hangman (side note: can we all agree on what a morbidly horrifying game that is to play with kids?!) and let the class decide what treat they would like to earn.
It just so happened that my Question of the Day that morning had been, “What are your favorite ice cream toppings?” After a rousing and enthusiastic discussion of the deliciousness that is Magic Shell, it was decided that the group would work toward an ICE CREAM SUNDAE bar. Every morning I wrote the day of the week on the white board (i.e. TUESDAY) and they would lose a letter every time I couldn’t get their attention after one attempt. Long story short, it worked too well, and I’m throwing an ice cream sundae bar when state standardized testing is over.
All of this is to say, The Annual Saxhaug Ice Cream Social has been on my mind.
In 1979, my parents came up with the objectively brilliant idea to host an Ice Cream Social on the 4th of July. Not brilliant, you say? People have plans and traditions on the 4th, you say? ‘Tis true, particularly in northern Minnesota, the 4th is a time to be on the lake… but not at 10:00am! My genius parents devised a way to gather all of their friends together — with their kids — and still allow them (and us!) to head to the cabin/landing/beach for the majority of the day.
My mom says the idea came from an ex-boyfriend. His family had good friends who had an Ice Cream Social the morning of the 4th, and she attended one year when they were dating. The invitation said “BYOB&S” — Bring Your Own Bowls & Spoons — so the only provisions the hosts needed to provide was the ice cream and toppings. Again I say, BRILLIANT.
I don’t remember that first Ice Cream Social (ICS). I was only 3, and I had the stomach flu. No ice cream for me! Mom said I had been SO excited for the day, and she remembers me emerging from the house at some point, pale as a ghost. My mom’s other major memory is that she was pregnant. Below, you’ll see an image of a bunch of pregnant ladies, but that was the 2nd year. The gathering was a rousing success, and it was quickly decided that the experience would be repeated.
The ice cream — vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry — came in enormous vats from the Schwan’s Man, and toppings included chocolate sauce (out of big cans opened by churchkey and poured into syrup dispensers), sliced bananas, and nuts (my mom says my dad got chopped ones in bulk from the beginning but I SWEAR she chopped them by hand for the first few years). After my mom went back to work, and wasn’t home for Schwan’s deliveries anymore, the ice cream came in gallon plastic buckets — later to be used to make ice for the fishing coolers, as well as Pee Buckets on the boat. Mrs. Richardson’s Butterscotch Caramel Fudge was also added to the toppings selection.
The month leading up to the annual party was a busy one for me, as I was the main one at home over summer break. My mom had the guest list written out on a legal pad in her perfectly beautiful handwriting, and it was my job to answer the phone and jot down whether guests could attend or not. In those days, of course, the invitations were mailed and folks actually called to RSVP one way or the other. What a civilized age!
When I grew a bit older, I was assigned the job of Greeter on the day of the party. It was my responsibility to spot a new car parking on the street, and intercept the approaching family with a “Good morning! Happy Fourth of July!” One rainy July, I met them all holding my mom’s golf umbrella! Some of these folks were well known to me — particularly the ones with kids my age — but some I didn’t know by name. Between answering the phone for a month and this forced adult interaction, I credit these experiences with my ease (at least outward) in the majority of social situations today.
As I welcomed families, I would also verify that they had, indeed, brought their own bowls and spoons. We did keep some paper bowls and plastic spoons on hand for the occasionally forgetful. It invariably happened that each year, at least one family would leave their dishes around our house or yard somewhere. If unclaimed after a week or so, these items would appear the next year on the the “if needed” table to be used for people who forgot to bring their own, or perhaps for the ones who originally left them to reclaim.
Eventually, families started automatically adding the Ice Cream Social to their holiday plans. It was a framily reunion, of sorts. Most of the kids didn’t go to the same elementary school, so we didn’t see each other much except at the ICS and maybe birthday parties. The guest list grew every year as my parents’ social circle expanded, but it rarely lost invitees. In fact, sometimes we would have complete strangers because people would bring their holiday guests! At it’s apex, we had 120 guests. My parents modeled the value of friendship to me in my childhood, and the lesson has stuck.
In 1991, I was 14 years old. We had moved to a new house. Leading up to that year, my parents had noticed that less ice cream was being eaten, and more coffee was being drunk. Kids were getting older, and the tone of the gathering had changed. In addition, the next year would be the first time my dad had to have his arteries cleaned out, and a Lowfat Frozen Yogurt Social didn’t have the same appeal. 1991 would end up being the last Ice Cream Social.
Last week, one of my parents’ dear friends died and I was honored to sing for the funeral. As I came out of the choir room and into the visitation area before the service, I was hit with a wave of recognition, nostalgia, and love. All of these faces appeared before me, ones that knew me from before I could remember being known. As I made my way around the room, hugging and laughing and crying, I had a flash: for a brief moment, it felt like the Ice Cream Social.
Thanks for reading.
Love, Susie
And, sing you did Ms. Susie Saxhaug!
4th of July ICS, one of my favorite childhood memories!