Hope is a Thing with Pearls and Chucks

With apologies to Emily D.

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November 8, 2016

I voted for my dad. I voted for Jess Blake's dad. I voted for my friend Molly. And, I voted for a kickass woman, Hillary Clinton, to be President of the United States. This, friends, this is a good day.

We all know what happened after that. From the moment that post was made to when I finally left my mom and dad’s house around 11pm that night, my mood had gone from hopeful to quietly horrified. When I awoke the next morning, I had a single text from my mom: “Dad lost.”

I then brought up the CNN site to confirm what my roiling gut and cold sweats were already telling me: Hillary lost, too. I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for school, trying to figure out how to scrape together my Good Teacher Persona for my students. My classroom resembled a wake from 7:30-8:00 (when students begin to arrive) as coworkers filed in for a hug and a cry and a, “How could this happen?” commiseration.

Because my dad — a Minnesota State Senator who had served for 14 years, a Democrat, and a voice for Northern Minnesota, veterans, and education — was swept out in the wave, the mourning seemed to exist for all of us on a micro and macro level. When I was finally able to sift through my feelings a few days later, I found at the bottom a pungent, sticky, congealed layer of GUILT:

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November 11, 2016

It has been a tough week for patriots. Notice I didn't say it was a tough week for BEING a patriot, because no. I'm a patriot. I live in this country and I believe in what it stands for and this week we let it down. I let it down. I let us down. It is Veterans Day today and I am ready to thank all of them for their service to our country, and I realize that when it was time for me to support and defend this country I fell short. I said "I'm With Her" but not publicly until it was too late. I "liked" others' comments when they fought the hate on FB and Twitter but didn't use my own voice. I fooled myself into thinking that putting a few signs in my yard for local races was DOING SOMETHING. What has happened is my fault. Just as it is the fault of Americans who didn't vote, who voted for a third party, who voted for a racist, xenophobic, sexual predator with no regard for you and I and the working class and the poor and the sick and the mentally ill and the list goes on. Yesterday I felt kicked in the pants by a few very smart women that I know — no-nonsense friends who tell it like it is and force me to do the same — and today I feel the need to find my voice. This is my start. I'm tired of being afraid.

I don’t ever want to feel like that again. I honestly don’t believe that there are any readers of this column who wonder about my political stance — I don’t hide my feminism, my allyship, my pro-union and pro-education values. However, I feel the need to be loud and proud about my belief that Kamala Harris should be the next President of the United States of America. I’m with her, because she’s with us.

Remember what our beloved Paul Wellstone proclaimed: “We all do better when we all do better.” Kamala Harris will be President for all Americans. I believe that to my core.

Use your voices, my friends… my fellow Americans.

Thanks for reading.

Love, Susie