Great Expectations

Kids, man.

I was not one of those pregnant people who planned out my kids’ lives before they even emerged. Sure, I had hopes and made plans, but they were on the parenting side of things: I was going to limit screen time and read them my favorite books and take them to my hometown and play outside as much as possible. Also they were going to have vegetables at every meal and nothing was going to be pre-packaged. But this is not about me and my parental fails.

When Emily was 3, we enrolled her in soccer and dance. She loved both equally — though soccer involved more chasing one particular kid and then showing him her karate moves than learning anything about soccer — so I felt good about her well-roundedness. We swapped out dance for gymnastics and soccer for swimming over the next year or two, and added Girl Scouts to the mix in 2nd grade. Em was extroverted and social from the get-go, so she was willing and eager to try all the things.

Billy is more like his dad, in that he is an extroverted introvert. He’s charming and social and a class clown (much to both our amusement and chagrin… more of the latter for me, the one who takes the teacher phone calls), but he gets nervous when he tries new things. He did well at t-ball once he was out there playing, but convincing him to go was sometimes a tearful proposition. He desperately wanted to take beginning dance — he LOVED the tights and jazz shoes I bought him — but when he showed up at the classroom and looked at the 13 little girls in pink leotards, he refused to go in.

Did I mention one of my parenting goals was to encourage their interests without trying to push them one way or another? Well. It was. Dan and I were on the same page in this, but coming at it from wildly different directions. Dan hated school since the moment that his mom “abandoned” him in Kindergarten. He did, however, have nearly perfect attendance and decent grades. I liked most of school, loved parts of it, and graduated with honors. Dan was incredibly athletic — he excelled in football, hockey, and his beloved baseball — but refused to join organized teams. I joined everything that wanted me (I haven’t changed much) but most activities were in the realm of music and theater. So you see, we had no way of knowing how our kids would turn out.

Emily the extrovert was my best chance at someone following in my theatrical footsteps. She played softball for a few summers, but our struggles to get her medications right stymied her progress (and enjoyment) and she ended up dropping out. She scored the role of Toto in a production of The Wizard of Oz when she was in middle school, and her canine antics brought the house down. She hasn’t managed to overcome the anxiety that comes with the pressure of that kind of performance, however, and I haven’t been able to talk her into another show since. However, a few weeks ago she was roped into a “Mystery Dinner Theater” for the youth group at church, and her portrayal of a full-of-herself New Orleans author had us all gasping and laughing… so perhaps there is hope yet. Besides, Marching Band ended up being her great passion in high school, and those shows are legendary.

Billy is our athlete. Currently three sports — football, baseball, and trap shooting — he has found that good friends are the answer to being comfortable joining a team. He dropped band early on (though his director said he had talent for percussion) and choir (concerts were torture for him, but he loves to sing) but wonders of wonders, he auditioned for my One Act Play this year. Of course, he did it because his two best friends wanted to. He ended up (after many, many bumps in the road) taking the lead role, and he was really good. He says, “Never again!” but we’ll see.

I am hustling to finish this up so that I can go watch my boy play baseball. I work in the same school with my daughter, who is universally adored by every child that comes her way. I’d like to be able to tell my pregnant self, sitting in my recliner with my big ol’ belly, that this day was in our future.

Nah, I wouldn’t spoil it.

Thanks for reading.

Love, Susie