Dear Emily

(and graduates in general)

Dear Emily,

As you graduate from high school, I feel a burgeoning, welling, roiling, bubbling need to spew all the advice and hard-won insight from my 47 years on this earth. Not only am I going to subject you to my quasi-wisdom, but all my Dear Readers as well. Hold tight, it could be a bumpy ride.

• Wear good shoes. If you cheap out on shoes when you’re young, you’ll end up with things called bunions when you’re older. Bunions are not hot.

• Try lots of different jobs in your life. I can always tell a story about how I ran the internet end of things at a florist one summer and it was great. But then they made me cut roses and I cut myself instead and the owner yelled, “DON’T BLEED ON THE ROSES!” and then I had to be done there.

• Fill your gas tank when it is a little over half empty. There are science and mechanical reasons for this, but I do it because then it doesn’t feel like I’m spending as much on gas.

• Wear sunscreen. Because watching your grandmother get hunks cut off of her nose gives me the heebie jeebies.

• Write thank you notes. Even if they are emails or texts — it’s worth the moments to show your gratitude to people. And sometimes you’ll meet people like your Uncle Dave, who tell you to please stop sending thank you notes and then you know you’re off the hook.

• Support your friends. If they write a book, read it and tell them your favorite part. If they sell tchotchkes at a craft fair, buy a ton and give them as gifts. If they sing in a concert or play in a softball game, go and cheer loudly.

• Allow your friends to support you. Your friends will have skills you lack. If you’re really smart, you’ll do as I have done and be besties with social workers, music experts, and tech brains.

• Make friends of all ages. The younger ones will help you with the slang of the day, your peers will commiserate with all of your life stages, and the older ones… well, they’ll always be older than you are.

• Cake is a choice. There is good cake and there is bad cake. Eat the good cake.

• Laugh at yourself. You are going to look like an ass at some point, so embrace it. For instance, it might have been 8 years since you broke your nose running into a window at the local theater, but people are still going to think of you whenever they walk in the building. Hey, at least they’re thinking about you!

• See live music. Big bands, little bands, local bands. I know you were raised on Trampled by Turtles concerts, but there is more to see out there.

• Dance. Take a deep breath and move your body to the music. Dancing is stress relief, self-expression, and group bonding. “I don’t dance” is a statement I dismiss with the same eye-roll as, “I don’t sing.” Nobody is gate-keeping those experiences for you except you.

• Teach yourself to cook a Signature Dish. I mean, you should obviously learn to cook for yourself: it’s healthier and cheaper than buying ready-made food. But you should also learn to cook a slightly elevated level of meal for when you want to host someone for dinner.

• Own a plant. You’ll kill it. It’s ok. For the time that you don’t, it will grow and change and flower every once in a while. You can name it and talk to it but you don’t have to walk it or pick up its poop.

• Pick one thing about your parent(s) to reject. I think it is a healthy sign of adulthood to be able to say, “I don’t like this aspect of my mom/dad. I’m going to actively try not to do that.” Just don’t tell me what it is because I’ll probably cry.

• Try. My friend Elly gave me the sagest advice once upon a time: try something before you say it won’t work. That’s the way I discovered I could squeeze in exercise on my lunch break. I suppose it is also the way I started writing this column.

• Call your mom. She gives great advice. Or, call MY mom, since that’s where I learned it.

• Strive. You don’t know it yet, but you won’t always have as much energy as you do right now. Do all of the things. (But also take a nap because naps are great.)

• Remember you are loved. We are so proud of you, kiddo. You made it through high school. Congratulations!

Thanks for reading.

Love, Susie