Certainly Older, Probably Wiser

A reflection on another year

There are three distinct times during a calendar year that feel like an annual reset: January 1st (the year is literally new), The First Day of School (brand new class), and my birthday. What is new on my birthday, besides the number that I’ll increasingly have to think longer about to remember? (This year should be easier because I know next year is a Big One.)

What I do try to do each year is to reflect on the year past, and this year it strikes me to make note of new learning. At the end of each school year, the students and I look through their academic notebooks, marveling over all the learning that they have done that year. That reflection is so vital — they think about who they were in September, and how much they’ve grown in that time.

So, Dear Readers, what did I learn in the Year of 48?

• I am able to identify a few more species of birds than I could before, thanks to Dan’s Bird Buddy. It was so thrilling to have the Northern Cardinal couple return to us this spring! I also learned that enjoying closeup photos of cheeky birds is a nearly universal experience.

• Thanks to the Chicago trip with my mom and daughter, I learned that train bathrooms are smaller even than airplane bathrooms. Though I had a solid amount of European train experience in my 20s, it did not prepare me for wishing I had packed wipes in my purse for my seat/tray table/every single surface.

• Just because a museum has an exhibit where you can experience “The Smell of Death,” it does not mean you have to go ahead and smell it.

• I learned that finding the meaning of a word alone does not put it in your vocabulary, you have to use it properly, in regular conversation, unprompted. Then you may say that you “own” the word. As a bona fide Word Nerd™ this thrills me to the core.

  • Just in writing this I learned that “bona fide” is the traditional spelling of what I always thought of as “bonified.” The latter is accepted, though not considered standard English. They carry the same meaning, which is real, genuine, or sincere.

• It is not recommended to remove a fishhook from your cat yourself. You will end up with as many — if not more — holes in you than she will. If you do happen to catch a cat[fish], throw a towel over her, wrap her up, and take her somewhere with drugs.

• Hope isn’t illusory. The feeling that washed over me when Kamala Harris was named the DFL presidential candidate affected me physically. The elevation in my mood and outlook on life when Tim Walz was added to the ticket was tangible. The lack of hope I end up feeling when I read the news makes me feel weak, but I know I will have a hope injection after Saturday’s NO KINGS protest, if only for a little while.

• Cooking for a consistent family of FOUR is a lot different from cooking for a family of probably THREE, except oops yes you can come over — FOUR oh yes your boyfriend can make it — FIVE except oops nobody is going to be home after all… so it’s just Dan and me but boy, there better be leftovers for lunch!

• Having a kid in sports and having a kid on the high school Varsity team are two different animals. Yes, you still do all the driving and waiting around and sitting and cheering and stressing out… but now you’re doing it surrounded by the entire community. I mean, I got invited to a Football Moms party! It also ends up feeling like the beginning of the end. I mean, Billy’s going to be a JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL, Y’ALL.

• There is a creature called a Kitchen Gremlin that can invade your house during the teenage years. They eat you out of house and home, never wash any dishes (but might put the knife back in the block dirty), and leave crumbs and wrappers and cheese shreds and half-used paper towels all over the counter and floor. No known extermination strategy.

• When (if?) you perform at the Excel Energy Center in St. Paul, you are given a personalized Minnesota Wild jersey.

  

• You will never be prepared for when your first child gets their first pet independent of you… and refers to you as “Grandma.”

• Opportunities come from connections. All of you darling readers, commenting and subscribing and sharing and discussing my posts, have led me into the world of storytelling. I’m so excited to see what comes next in this area.

• Speaking of exciting opportunities: just because you were always a theater actor vs. a film actor does NOT mean that you won’t end up with a small part in a movie! More to come on that!

• The lesson that I continually learn, every year, is that people matter so much. I cannot express how lucky I feel that my pool of trusted humans continues to expand as time goes by. I’m finding that as I grow older, the range of age levels of friends I collect grows wider and wider. I have gained friends just this past year who are in their 20s, 30s, and early 40s. I have made rich connections with folks in their 60s and 70s. We are more alike than we are different — not a new lesson, but perhaps the most vital.

Now I leave you so that I can read the directions for my new compost bin — my birthday gift from Dan. I have wanted it forever, and it reminds me of the long-ago Birthday Toilet. Find yourself a partner who gets YOU, your whole, unique, self.

Thanks for reading.

Love, Susie